Hello, my beautiful disaster.

Welcome to my blog. Have a good time.

ruinedchildhood:

2 time Academy Award nominee Jonah Hill.

(via hotwhiteguy)

marthemacabre:

reckless-emotions:

gaylucifer:

Sometimes I forget that people on the Internet are actually real people. Like the guy scanning your bananas at Walmart could be the guy who sends you anon hate.

damn you banana man

WHERE’s the banana guy?….

(via hotwhiteguy)

autisticqueermihashi:

piratecoves:

poopflow:

people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked with

i used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in my fucking throat please take your pills with water kiddies it’s worth it

HOLY SHIT OKAY

(via hotwhiteguy)

the-super-scout:

helioscentrifuge:

runtime-err0r:

itsvondell:

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then

image

yeah wow that’s spot on perfect

my catchphrase

(via hotwhiteguy)

(via Mindwonderzzz)

(Source: mydeepest-fear, via nofancywords)

From 18 to 22 you meet a lot of temporary people.

A progression of bad language

hawlmuchalucha:

deans-left-buttcheek:

Kindergarten: Stupid. Oh gosh don’t tell anyone I said that.
Elementary school: What the heck.
Middle School: Damn it this is freaking dumb as hell
High school: what the fuck did you just say you little fucking shitbitchcuntfuck I will beat the dicks out of your ass

College: what the frick frack snick snack are u doing

(Source: hyvel, via ofmiceandpokemon)

Terri Conley, professor of psychology and women’s studies at the University of Michigan ( link )

welp.

(via glimpseofgoldglitter)

image

(via prediicament)

The reason women are turning you down for casual sex seems to be that, for one thing, a lot of you are calling them sluts afterward. Also, a lot of you aren’t bothering to try to be good in bed.

guy who wrecked himself  (via mosby)

(Source: benfoldsone, via teen-derp)

If only i had checked myself

lyingmary:

imnotpooping75:

imnotpooping75:

where did noah keep his bees

IN THE ARK HIVES

Get the fuck away from me right now

(via officialwhitegirls)

zanmor:

stilinsk1:

gininipanini:

lunchbox-philosopher:

xghoststreak:

sizvideos:

Watch it in video

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I thought watermelon just had too much rind and that was wrong until I saw the next gif 

I didn’t know that people are mangoes and kiwis any other way. Why the fuck would you do that?

STRAWberry

Saw this on facebook the other day and seriously fell in love. This is so freaking awesome and helps eliminate waste. Definitely trying these ways from now on.

Or you just eat the whole dang kiwi.

(via hotwhiteguy)

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